Crazy for Your Love
by CryingAngel21
Summary: Just a major fan of Harley Quinn and Mista J, so I thought I would tell their story with my own little twist;) Lots of lemons... enjoy! Disclaimer: I don't own any DC characters (although I wish I did because I'd really rich and really cool).
1. Harleen Quinzel

As I sat in my cell with my arm in a cast and my head bandaged up, I thought about how I went from being a highly respected doctor here at Arkham Asylum, to a deranged, corrupted and lovesick criminal who received daily beatings from her psychopathic boyfriend and was now imprisoned due to him pushing her out of a window after trying to surprise him with the thing he had been working at for years.

 _Face it Harl, J has never loved you and he never will. You might as well not even exist to him. He only used you._ My inner voice said.

 _Hey, Harley Girl!_ My other inner voice said.

 _Yes?_ My first inner voice answered.

 _How's about you stop mopin' about that jerk and find a way to get us the hell outta here?_

 _What's the point? Mista J doesn't love us, so there's no point._

 _No point!? Fuck Mista J! You gotta get us out Harley Girl! We can go team up with Red and the Cat Bitch._

My cell door opened suddenly and a man walked in.

"Hello Harleen. My name is Dr. Reese and I'll be you doctor now that you're at Arkham. We'll meet everyday at 1:00 for an hour. I hope you grow to trust me and feel safe to tell me anything."

 _He's just here for your secrets. The same thing you were after when you started here with Mista J._ My second inner voice warned me.

 _She's right Harley. Don't trust this monkey. He doesn't even know what he's doing._

My mind floated back to what my second voice said about Mista J. And just like that, my screw-loose brain returned to seven years before, when I was just a rookie and I met my puddin.

* * *

I poured myself a third cup of coffee the morning I was to have my first session with the patient I had been working on getting for months. If I wasn't jittery enough from being around The Joker, I sure was now. But my new friend and colleague Joan Leland said to be extra aware and awake around The Joker since he was known to pull things with his doctors and often tried to kill them. I glanced a the clock and realised that I was already three minutes late for work and raced out the door after throwing my hair into a bun and slipping on my white coat.

After my daily session with one of my other patients was over, I headed straight for the special session room with The Joker. When I walked in, I was greeted by two guards and a pale faced man with a head of green hair and green eyes. A giant, eerie smile stretched across his face.

"Well hello doctor. I understand that you've requested me especially. How lucky am I? You're so beautiful, I could just cut you into little pieces. I'm sure you already know, but I'm The Joker, Clown Prince of Crime."


	2. The First Session

My heart skipped a beat or two when I saw his face. It was... strangely handsome. His twisted smile was bright red against his bleach white skin.

"Hello... Mr. Joker? There's no other name here to call you by."

"That's because that is my name Toots." If it was possible, the corners of his mouth stretched even farther, almost from ear to ear.

A chill ran down my spine as I tried to keep my composure. "Well my name is Dr. Harleen Quinzel, and we'll have sessions every Tuesday and Thursday from noon to one." I tried to look professional, with my bun and glasses, a clipboard in hand.

But as soon as I had finished talking, the Joker has started to chuckle, then cackle, then his laughs turned into hysteric howls of amusement.

"Please Mr. Joker, tell me what is so amusing that you had to interrupt our session." My cross look and tone calmed his laughter and just as soon as he started to laugh, he stopped and sat up straight with a large grin on his face.

"Aw come on doll face, where's your sense of humor? Your name Harleen Quinzel sounds too much like Harlequin to not laugh, it's hysterical! Especially considering your sour face and missing sense of humor."

"Hm... Yes, I've heard that one before. Anyways Mr. Joker, I have questions for you that I would like answers to, these questions will help us reach a diagnosis for you, and eventually get you back to a functional member of society."

Ignoring my change of subject completely, the Joker continued with his rant and jokes.

"What do you call a cow with no legs?"

I sighed. "What?"

"Ground beef!"

For whatever reason, I giggled. I didn't usually find jokes like that funny. But for some reason, when he told me the joke, I did.

I quickly regained my serious demeanor. I cleared my throat. "Sorry, that was unprofessional."

"What was? Laughing at a joke?" He tilted his head.

I adjusted my glasses and straightened my bun, hoping to forget what just happened. Joan had warned me not to laugh at his jokes, as it would encourage him to act up.

"Well I'm here to be your doctor, not your audience."

"The world is my audience, Doc."

I took that as an opportunity to ask him a question. "Is that why you attacked the civilians at that mall then blew it up? So the world could watch?"

He looked at the clock. "Ah. Well it's one o'clock Doc. See you Thursday." He stood and a gaurd came in to take him back to his cell.

That night, I stayed up and read his file over and over. He had killed two of his doctors during the first session and killed another after she prescribed him several different types medicine because he threatened to kill her family. Aside from information about his crimes and refusal to take medicine, there wasn't much about him or his background. I was fascinated with him and wanted to know all that I could about him. I thought about the session we had and found myself smiling when I pictured his grin.

"He's charming, I'll give him that." I looked at his file picture again and may have held my gazed for a moment too long.

"What are you doing Harleen? He's your patient. You're probably just tired."

After laying down, I found myself only able to think about how excited I was for my next session with the Joker and how I was looking forward to more of his jokes.


	3. Mista J

I sat in my chair for what seemed like forever waiting for the Joker to arrive to the special session room. I glanced at the clock, it was already ten past twelve.

"Where is he?" I said under my breath.

I waited for another ten minutes before getting up to talk to the gaurd stationed outside of the door.

"Hi... Ronald.. I was wondering where my patient is?"

"Joker acted up this morning, threatened another prisoner, lead to a fight, now he's locked in his cell for the next 48 hours."

"The next 48 hours?!" I couldn't believe my ears. I scoffed and started towards his cell.

* * *

"I knew you'd come Doc." The Joker called from his cell as I got close.

I got to his cell and told the guard to let me in.

"I don't think that's safe, Miss. He just got into a fight this morning after all, and I wouldn't want you getting hurt."

I looked him up and down. He was young, maybe 23, and obviously new.

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right, I would be in danger in there." I tried to look weak. "But then again, I'm only trying to do my job the best I can. Plus, I'd have you out here to protect me." I put my hand on his shoulder. "I know I'd be safe with you out here."

He cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter. "Well... If you're trying to do your job, I shouldn't be the one to stop you. But you just holler and I'll be right in Miss..."

"Quinzel. Harleen Quinzel."

"Right, Ms. Quinzel. Here, let me open the door."

I looked at his name tag. "Thank you Matthew. Mind if I call you Matt?"

He shook his head and gestured for me to enter.

* * *

"I'm surprised Doc. I didn't peg you as such a minx." The Joker said with a smirk.

"Well you're my patient and I'm here to help you, even if it means using advantages I'd prefer not to use."

"Well Toots, I'm impressed. I really thought you were a square." He unfolded his hands from behind his head and sat up on his bed.

"Why would you think I'm a square Mr. Joker?"

He groaned. "Would you stop calling me 'Mr. Joker'? It's annoying."

"Well that's the only name on your file, so that's what I have to call you."

"You are such a puppet."

I sighed. "Shall we get started?"

"Sure Doc, I'm ready to spill my deepest secrets and worst fears to you. Did you bring your little notepad? Shrinks always have those."

I ignored his question and sat down on his bed next to him.

"Risky move Doc. I'm the Joker, I could kill you at any second, remember?"

I smiled slightly. "I don't think you would hurt me Mr. J."

"Mr. J..." He repeated, "...I like that."

"I'm glad. Since you don't like Mr. Joker, that's what I'll refer to you as from now on."

"So what's your first question Dollface? What do you want know so badly about the Joker?"

"Well what was your home life like when you were little?" I figured that probably played an important role in his road to becoming a criminal.

"Well, when I was little, my father used to beat me up pretty badly. When I got out of line, BAM! Or sometimes I'd be sitting there doing nothing, POW!" He punched the air. "Pops tended to favor the grape you see."

I was horrified but didn't want him to stop since he was trusting me with the knowledge of his sadness and pain as a child.

"The first time I ever saw pops really happy, he took me to the circus when I was seven. I still remember the clowns running around, dropping their pants" He laughed and stood up, "My old man laughed so hard, I thought he'd bust a gut! So the very next night I ran up to him with his best Sunday pants around my ankles. I took a big pratfall. I tore the crotch right out his pants!"

We shared a laugh as tears came to my eyes.

"And then he broke my nose."

I gasped. "How awful! You were just a child!"

"Yes well I'm just glad I have someone I can trust to talk to. None of the other doctors I've had make me feel the way you make me feel Harley Quinn."

I liked the sound of that nickname but didn't want to be unprofessional. "Harley? It has a nice ring to it, but you shouldn't be giving me nicknames Mr. J. You're my patient."

He crouched down and gently tilted my chin towards him. "But I just feel like I can trust you with my secrets. Besides, you call me Mr. J, don't you want a special nickname just between us?"

"Well that you be nice... But I just don't kn-"

He cut me off. "Good, I'm glad you like it Harley."

I bit my lip. I really did like the name. Plus I was really glad Mr. J felt he could trust me. "Thank you for the nickname Mr. J. And thank you for trusting me."

"Oh no Harley, thank you for listening and wanting to help me. I feel like you really care."

I smiled. "I do Mista J, I really do."

After the session was over, I walked out and said goodbye to the guard, already forgetting his name and paying him no mind. As I walked down to my office, my thoughts were only on Mista J and how he trusted me. I thought about how he made my heart flutter when he laughed, and how I blushed when he was close.

"Oh Mista J, you're a dream."


End file.
